Good riddance, my stitch is out last evening. My gums feel more at ease. And free.

I am still not used to the feeling of having less teeth. But that's not important.

So what is important?

Most of the time, the simplest of questions will never bring about the most obvious of answers.

______________________________________

Dear Princess,

I spoke to the well just moments ago. Or rather, listened to it.

I went over to the well during break time and knocked it/him/her with my lance.

"Ouch!" As expected from it/him/her, "What do you want?"

I remained silent with a grin.

"Alright, alright, since I am all-knowing, I shall answer to your burning questions." The well let out a few coughs, before continuing, "I shall give you a quote then, 'The best armour is to keep out of range.' Now how does that sound to you? HEHE."

I lost my grin. Now it's my turn to say ouch.

I remained silent, while the well continued, "I know it's hard, but you will be okay soon enough. I hope. HEHE."

I rolled my eyes in frustration. But still, it/he/she has its/his/her point.

Break time is over. I knocked on the well again before leaving the it/him/her screaming. I will contemplate what was said, soon.

My tooth was in 3 pieces after the surgery. I felt weird.

Partly because the my gums were still feeling heavy and numb after the dentist gave me numerous shots of anesthestic.

Partly because I only heard the cracking sound of my tooth that sounded like a broken twig, after the sawing, knocking and pulling. Crack. As simple as that.

Partly because the last time I saw my own tooth was years ago, and the size was incomparable to this.

I stared at it for a while, with the urge to say "How are you going to dispose of it?" Which really meant "Can I keep it?". But with the numbing still in effect and a piece of cotton in my mouth, I passed.

I don't like the taste of my own blood.

_____________________

Dear Princess,

Perhaps you are but someone for me to look forward to. You don't deserve that.

I shall keep my sight out of the tower, for now.

Hmmm. Yeah. I have uploaded my first video on youtube. My project 1 for my Toastmasters'. The quality of the video is quite poor, so pardon me. Here goes:



A lot of glaring mistakes I suppose. Haiz. Need to buck up! The following is the draft of my speech:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it's a great pleasure for me to be standing here, giving my first prepared speech for the club.

I shall proceed to introduce a bit more about myself here tonight. Since the theme for this evening is Hello!win, I shall tell you a story about one of the most popular characters in horror stories – vampires. I will tell you the story of a very interesting yet eccentric vampire who is different from the rest.

Perhaps one has to agree that the spectrum of liberalism and conservatism existed as long as civilisations did, so it is common to hear heated arguments from both sides, on issues such as which breed of humans' blood is tastiest to policies concerning the salaries of our vampire lords. However, this vampire never seems to have a side on anything. He likes to say, “oh, I will like to sit on the fence on this issue.” Very often, he would be asked if his butt hurts sitting on the fence for too long. His reply would be, “Dont worry about me, as the fence I am sitting on is a wooden fence with no pointy edge. Besides, once in a while I would get off it to move about. There will be times when I will sit and face a certain direction too.”

Also, most of the time, this vampire would be spotted wandering alone in the corridors, canteens, cinemas and other public places. During gatherings, he would be seen sitting in a corner observing the crowd with his keen eyes and listening to the range of nonsenses and words of wisdom with his sharp ears. And mostly he would introduce himself as 'introverted but not shy' since others often have the misconception in differentiating introversion and shyness. He likes to explain that, 'you can be extroverted yet shy and also introverted but comfortable in the crowd. Introversion is a choice, but shyness is not.' Therefore, he would say that he chose introversion, although there are some others who would still think otherwise.

However, being a bloodsucker and all, he is bound to be unpopular to a good extent. He would sometimes think that 'Hey, I am born to be like that, am I not.' Still, he would resent the fact that he is a bloodsucker, doing undue harm to those around him, including his loved ones. So for as long as he can remember, he sought help far and wide to get rid of his bloodsucking tendencies, with no avail, and sometimes even sucking the poor gurus dry instead. But fortunately, he bumped into an angel during a misadventure one fine day. That angel said, “I have concocted a potion that would reduce your vampire form. It would not remove your bloodlines completely, so you have to learn how to resist your craving for blood. That is the only long term solution to your, 'problem'”

And now, this half vampire is no longer afraid of the sun, no longer an irritating bloodsucker hated by all. But he still fears the cross, and still hangs on to his best to curb his bloodsucking urges which is still not, and perhaps, gone forever. He is contented nevertheless.

Of course, ladies and gentlemen, it is obvious that this half vampire is referring to yours truly. The message I wanted to bring across, besides sharing a bit about myself, is that leopards can change their spots, some if not all, if they try hard enough. I believe that anyone can change themselves for the better no matter how hard it can be. If a bloodsucker can change himself to be less of a bloodsucker, I don't see why zombies, ghouls, witches, and the like cannot.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Thank you for your time.

_____________________________

Dear Princess,

I had night duty a few nights ago, under the moonless sky in the garden. Starless too, so I had to stare at the pitch black for the rest of my shift.

It was not as boring as expected. I saw a few glowing butterflies dancing around the fountain, and some wisps glowing within that willow tree.

And occasionally, I could see sparks flying out from your tower. Ah, it must be the spells you were practising hard for the upcoming Kingdom Day parade. Hmmm. I am still not able to predict your performance items for that day. I am looking forward to it.

I played around with my lance to keep myself active and awake in the ungodly hours. Every stroke with power and intensity, but I still lacked precision. I need more practice.

The night remained moonless, before the castle bell rang, signalling the beginning of the new day. As I headed my way back to the guard tower, I turned my head, for a glimpse of the beautiful sunrise that would come eventually.

Hmmm. I was not too pleased with my speech on Tuesday evening. Passable at best I suppose, assuming expectation from a greenhorn.

The hall internet is not allowing me to upload the video of my speech. Hopefully it would work in school Okay, it's not working. I cannot stand the internet connection of my hall my school. The downloads and uploads are so disjointed. I rather it be slow and steady. I will have to wait till I get home then.

Hmmm. I will be getting my wisdom teeth out this Saturday. It was quite an interesting turn of events. My mum was appalled by the costs of private surgery and was insistent on me going for government care, until she heard about Medisave to pay of the surgery. So she enthusiastically booked my first appointment for me this Saturday. A load off my mind I suppose. Thanks mum =)

_________________________________

Dear Princess,

I was exploring the gardens during break time when I came across an old well.

I peered into the well. I could see myself in the reflection of the clear sapphire surface of the water. I look like an idiot in the spangenhelm, but too bad it's officially issued by the military. I remember vividly that day I officially took on the job.

"The military uniform you are given is a symbol. A symbol of our kingdom's might. A symbol of our country's strength. A symbol of how great our dynasty is," That same guy in his purple robe addressed the recruits, "so you better wear it with dignity, pride and respect! Muahahahaha..." Before releasing us from the parade with his ever big grin on his face.

What bullshit. I thought to myself. But I have had to hand it to our military management, cos the quality of our issued armoured uniform is first class. Even the dragon would have difficulty biting our heads off with this helmet I am wearing.

As I looked deeper into the well, I saw sparkles under the shining sun. Gold and silver coins, old and new. A wishing well? That would be a very common assumption that people would have when they see this, so I will set that aside for now. I tried to reach my lance into the well, but it was much deeper than I thought. I hit my lance against the wall. The echo was deafening.

"Can you stop knocking at me?" Came a voice from within the well.

I was stunned for a while, and before I could recover, "Yes, yes, no one would have expected a voice here. But what your hear is what you hear. No doubt about it. I am indeed a talking well."

"I think you better get back to your post now. Your break time is up, you know, you know."

Woah. How did he/she/it know about my break time? But he/she/it was right. I had to get back in 5 minutes, or be screwed by the supervisor. Not that I am inferior to him in any way.

I bidded farewell to the well by knocking my lance again at the wall, without saying a word. I guess I would have a lot to say when I see the well again soon.

I had a good weekend so far, had I not?

Watched an interesting concert last Friday night, with a renewed sense of respect to someone who was willing to set aside her academic commitments to pursue a worthy but tedious cause.

Had a great BBQ carbon-free seafood feast at Yishun Dam with HBC, with gorgeous seaside view. And the clouds! I will upload the photos of the beautiful clouds when I get my cable back.

Celebrated my good friend's birthday at Check In Pte Ltd at Fraser Place after the BBQ. We knew each other for more than 7 years and counting. Even though we seldom met up, we were always there for each other, and that's what counts. Check In had a relaxing ambience which made the occasion more memorable too.

After sleeping for about n hours, I went to PS to get some materials for Tuesday's Chapter Meeting, with the theme of Halloween and my first CC Project. I admit that I am excited and looking forward to the event, though my costume would not be that impressive since I would make it myself. Hopefully, I could video my speech and post it here.

The rest of the long weekend would be spent preparing my costume and speech for Tuesday. Wish me luck.

_______________________________________________

Dear Princess,

I have been thinking about the possible ways to earn my promotion to imperial guard in the shortest time possible. I am not enthusiastic going through the bureaucratic process of HR policy planning in manpower allocation, succession planning, boot-licking and all the what nots involved as stated in the SOP section of 'Starter Kit - Every guard's best friend'. A friend indeed.

One of the clauses in the handbook caught my eye though. It states "Special promotions would be strongly considered in the event where exceptional conduct of bravery and valour is exemplified, subject to approval from the Prime Minister and the King."

As usual, a series of imagination and thoughts bombards. There are quite a number of ways to 'exemplify exceptional bravery and valour'. This includes fighting off an army of assassins to the King's throne, which seems manageable. Or poking through the dragon's face that controls Your Highness' tower. Or even uncovering the plot that the prince is in fact an evil prince who wants to take over the kingdom to grow his army of undead and thus stop him in his tracks.

I laughed bitterly to my own thoughts and fantasies, because I was reminded by a strong principle taught by the sage: Always remember that if you wish to become a hero in the bad circumstances, you are also wishing for the bad circumstances to happen. To put it bluntly, it means "I wish that you are in trouble so that I can save you from the trouble."

With that slap on my face, I looked towards the willow trees in the gardens, perhaps to enjoy that moment of solace the gentle breeze brings to sooth the pain.

Oh wells. I have to be stuck to the SOP then.

When I reached home last Friday night, I saw an interesting package lying on the dining table.

It's white, thick, and A4.

Yup, it's the Toastmasters' International New Member Kit! And I was still wondering how to get my hands on it since paying for the membership a few weeks ago.

I've looked through the materials in the package. Interesting stuff. I look forward to my first project on Competent Communication after being assigned to a mentor soon.

______________________________

Dear Princess,

My first day of work as a guard was fine, I suppose. The gardens were as peaceful as always, with the fragrance of the flowers and grass and birds and the bees minding their own business. Occasionally, a few couples would drop by, pay the entrance fee, and enjoy themselves in the shades under the willow tree.

I was thinking about the interesting job application process that day at the Tower of Administrative Nonsense. I came by early in the morning, but many others were already queuing up for the various available positions. It was a little noisy then, though the guards there did a good job in crowd-controlling.

I was holding on to my resume, which was only a piece of certificate in basic fencing course I had signed up for reluctantly for the sake of it even though I could have brought the instructors down to their knees with just a wooden stick. I have sought apprenticeship with many masters of their trades, but would they give me a mere certificate for my accomplishments? At the thought of that, I tore up the worthless piece of transcript on the spot.

I heard a scream a little moment later. It came at the front end of the queue. Feeling a little irritated, I went forward to check it out only to discover a headless body lying on the floor, with a huge crowd of bystanders.

Strange as it seems, there's no blood, no smell, no taste, no sound, no movement at all. Yet it was indeed a headless corpse. And the people around me are dumbfounded. Then whispers began.

"Who or WHAT is that?"
"Beats me. That body looks so strange."
"What shall we do about it?"
"OMG it's scary!"
"AH!!!!!"
"What luck to see this kind of thing during my job application."
"Nonsense indeed."

Everyone just stood there, did nothing but whispers and screams. I got so fed up that I took out my wooden stick and poked at the body.

"Eww!!"
"Stop that!"

I glared at them, before getting up on my feet and went to the counter to ask for assistance.

"Please report to the nearest guard who is right beside me."

I was in awe by the absurdness around me before I asked the guard on duty right beside the receptionist to do something about that body. The guard rang up on the phone, and a few moments later, an old man in a purple wizard-like suit descended the spiral staircase with a wide grin like that of the Cheshire Cat.

"Ah, interesting piece of work over here," he grinned when he saw the corpse. And at the snap of his fingers, the body disappeared without a trace. "Oh pardon me, but I cannot afford to have a bloody corpse put here in the first place. It violates the Self-Censorship Act Section 120 on Blood and Gore in public, so I have to settle with an alternative." He was still grinning.

When the crowd dispersed with relief and disappointment, the wizard-like man approached me. I almost wanted to give him a "one-times-good-one" before he gave me a stern, piercing look. "You are here to apply for the position of castle guard?"

"Erm. Yes, I am."

"Okay, good. We need more guards with initiative. You're hired. Remember to fill in the indemnity form at the counter before we can officially assign you to the job. Get a queue number first," before he grinned his way back to the staircase.

And so that's how I landed my job. I am assigned to monitor and control the crowd in the imperial gardens for the first few months. It's been a while since I have stepped into the gardens ever since the captivating dance months ago.

The afternoon wind blows lightly onto my face, a little relief for the hot weather. I could see the dark clouds coming in a distance, giving me a good excuse to go under the willow tree later. That willow tree. I vaguely remember the presence of the wisps living in the hollows years ago. Brings back both fond and heart-wrenching memories. That shall be a story of another time, perhaps.

I look forward to exploring other unknown parts of the castle in future.

It felt like waking up from a sweet dream, and then falling into a nightmare. It is but a start of an endless torment yet.

Actually last night I did wake up from a sweet dream. When it's all over, only numbness remains. How I wished I have asked you in my dream last night why everything happened.

Time to restart the counter.

The best day of my life coupled with the worst day of my life.

WTF.

WTF.

WTF.

Perhaps I should have died yesterday.

_______________

Dear Princess,

I am feeling much much worst than even when I found out that the prince is in town.

I MUST have done something REALLY REALLY BAD to deserve this. And the real fucked up thing is that I am not aware of it at all! HOW NICE!

Fuck. I should bang myself into the wall.

Finally, I got back my first writing assignment. I liked what I saw on my marked paper =)

Here's the reproduction of my assignment:

Cacophony

Forget about the honking from the roads, drilling from the construction site, or even wailing from the baby room, the noisiest sounds I hear is in my own head. Dozens of random thoughts flash through my consciousness every moment, from recalling yesterday's delicious dinner, to worrying tomorrow's tedious examinations, to even contemplating today's clear blue sky. The disharmony of the words in my head never seems to stop. I am disturbed by the fact that my mind is constantly in a whirl of emotions. True peace seems to be so far away. Fortunately, I am advancing towards finding my inner peace, by being mindful about myself. I learn that the peace of mind is acquired not by the ignorance of distractions, but by the awareness of thoughts. Not by suppressing unwanted noises in our heads, but by embracing the flow of thoughts in our minds. I learn to withdraw, listen and observe myself to savour the joy of living in the present. With that epiphany, I begin to enjoy the harmonious symphony playing in my mind, perhaps for as long as it may last.

Comments from tutor: "A-"

I was expecting a B+ and hoping for an A, but nevertheless 'in between' is good enough for me =) Too bad my tutor did not write any comments for my work. Perhaps she's too busy with others.

I am really thankful for the following people who has helped me to look through my writings. The 'A-' belongs to them too! Thanks loads to my da jie, Vanessa, Yihui, Ju-Lyn and Pin Xiu! (The thing I dislike about acknowledgements is the innate possibility of leaving someone out unintentionally. Hopefully I haven't this time. >.<)

Please feel free to comment on my work too! =)

Wandering Thought: Objectivity is a type of subjectivity.

Thank God. Really. I am really thankful.

Firstly, and most importantly, I have finally found that link of hope, after nine hundred and twenty seven days.

After such the length of time, the past doesn't matter any more. There will be a lot for me to look forward to, a lot for me to work towards, even though it might be full of uncertainty and risks. I will not screw up this time like I did when I didn't even know how I screwed it up.

Secondly, I am thankful that I am appreciated. Even though I was hit hard to the ground that morning, that small but significant appreciation enabled me to get up, dust myself and move on. I am more ready for the future.

Thirdly, I am finally done with the Research Participation as required for the semester, with an interesting finale. The experience of being 'studied' is quite, well, intriguing, even though I am likely to be the abnormality of the studies cos I seem to get their hypothesis most of the time XD. Of course I tried to be as natural as possible so as not to affect the results. Next time, I will be the one doing the experiments. Now THAT is going to be more interesting. =)

Fourthly, I retrieved my lost planner! It was horrifying to find out that the important (and only) planner I have was missing! Fortunately, I managed to recover it by cycling all the way back to the tutorial room, where it lies peacefully on the floor outside.

Hopefully I won't die today. Cos it's really the best day of my life. =X

_______________________________________

Dear Princess,

I saw the notice in the town yesterday when I was heading to the market to get some provisions.

NOTICE OF RECRUITMENT

FIT and YOUNG Men/Women Required for the Position(s) of

1. CASTLE LAUGHTER OFFICER (with nonsense) aka CLOWN
2. CASTLE OFFICER of KULINARY ARTS aka COOK
3. CASTLE CLEANER FACILITIES MANAGER
4. CASTLE GUARD

Good pay and benefits (as defined by Ministry of Meaningless Work). Interested applicants apply with FULL RESUME to the ADMINISTRATIVE BULLSHIT OFFICE (Level 1) in the TOWER of ADMINISTRATIVE NONSENSE (Refer to map attached). No prior experience required.

CANDY CHEWING KIDS need not apply.

- By order of the King

Even though I don't need the pay and benefits, it would be interesting to see what's inside the castle. I shall submit my application tomorrow.